Happy Mother's Day
Today our church gave us a few minutes to talk about our adoption journey! Mother’s day is a great time to talk about adoption because of the different mothers involved. Certainly adoptive mothers celebrate, but we want to remember birth-mothers as well who made a difficult choice in order to give their baby a life they didn’t think they could provide. There are likely women in our congregation who want to be moms, but that hasn’t happened, and they may be looking at adoption, wondering if it’s really an option.
Adoption is not natural. It wouldn’t be necessary if it weren’t for our brokenness. In a perfect world, women would never have to make the choice to give their baby to another family. Women who want to be mothers would have the children they desire. This is not a perfect world, and we are broken. Adoption is the grace of redemption in the midst of that brokenness.
In the same way, God adopts us. It is not natural. God redeemed us from our brokenness and became our Father. When we call each other “brother” or “sister” in the church, it is because God has adopted us into one family. This is a powerful illustration in the New Testament, and we want our church to really grasp that picture- to see it lived out in our family and (hopefully) other families after us.
Adoption has always been part of our family picture. Even before we were married, God impressed on both of us that adoption was one way that we wanted to build our family- not a backup plan, but a way to show and experience His grace. We each desired a larger family with three or four kids with the understanding that at least some of them would not be our biological children. We were blessed with Sam seven years ago, then surprised that no siblings followed. There are probably people in our congregation who are experiencing the questions, doubts, and hurts of wondering why starting (or continuing) a family hasn’t gone as planned. Even with Sam, we have felt that, too. He has prayed faithfully every night over the last four years that we would adopt a brother or sister.
While adoption was always part of our picture, it is admittedly not the easiest path forward. It is a VERY different way to become parents. When we had Sam, the only requirement to bring him home from the hospital is what I dubbed the “Kindergarten test”- if you made it, you get to take it home with you. Adoption couldn’t be further from that. Even successfully raising our son, a whole host of agencies have a vested interest in us. It makes us vulnerable in a way that we have never known- our home, our history, our health, our relationships, and our finances are all called out. We are working with a secular agency, and that also puts our faith on display. We have made it clear that we will raise a child in a Christian home, and that stands out amidst the myriad profiles of other families waiting to adopt.
The greatest hurdle we continue to face is financial. The cost to adopt is high, although creative solutions have already helped us raise nearly 50% of the necessary funds. Our church, friends, and family have given generously. All of my photography work goes to our adoption fund. Allie continues to babysit and set aside extra cash. I shaved my beard, which raised over $1000 for April Fool’s Day! I ran the Wisconsin Half Marathon on Saturday and raised about $800. We have a garage sale coming up (May 20-22). The whole process can seem daunting, but Allie likes to keep it in perspective with this quote:
“My friends, adoption is redemption. It's costly, exhausting, expensive, and outrageous. Buying back lives costs so much. When God set out to redeem us, it killed him." - Derek Loux
In all of this, we want to encourage the church that adoption is beautiful. We covet the church’s prayers and support as we move forward. We hope to see our family grow this year, and we look forward to sharing the journey with our brothers and sisters at GCC.
Happy Mother's Day,
Adam