The year was 2020…
I had been working from home since March, and Sam was taking his classes online. Just three days from Halloween, Allison and I enjoyed breakfast together and I topped off my coffee before heading back upstairs. My biggest project of the year was set to launch in less than a month, and I still had quite a bit to finish for that to succeed. November would be a busy month, and life was going to get hectic for a while, but I’d be finished by Thanksgiving. That was the goal.
A short while after lunch, Allison was preparing to run a quick errand, taking advantage of the unseasonably warm weather. I opened my email and saw it: a message from our adoption counselor, completely out of the blue. We had adopted in 2017 and finished all our follow-up early the next year. We hadn’t heard much from her since, save for a Christmas party at the agency where we said “Hi” and chatted for a few minutes about how much Collin had grown.
“A unique situation…”
That’s what it said. My eyes flashed over the whole message, and fumbling for my phone I called Allison. “Katie sent us an email. There’s a baby. You need to read it. We need to talk as soon as possible.”
It turns out that a hallway conversation at the Christmas party had nudged a door open. “If you ever need help with a tricky situation, give us a call. We’ll at least listen.” That’s where we are. That door remained ajar, if forgotten, and was now being thrust wide open.
Fast forward a week, now into early November. We did our homework, talked to some experts, and decided that we were ready for our family to grow. The boys were both excited at the prospect of having a baby brother, and although this was complicated, we were still a hearty yes. We asked Katie what we needed to do next.
A Home Study
Last time, it took us two years to do the full home study: classes, home visits, doctor appointments, interviews, CPR certification, finances, background checks, fund raising, and stacks upon stacks of paperwork, and all of that in a pandemic-free world.
Two. Years.
We had to climb that mountain again, but in two weeks. We submitted our application on Thursday morning. Every night we sat up working through paperwork, taking our classes, and scheduling appointments. Every day we sent an email with updates. We went through the whole checklist in 13 days.
Match Meeting
Two weeks after we submitted our application, we sat at The Cradle, where we'd begun our first adoption journey now five years ago, with mom and grandma. Mom is a sweet woman, already parenting a toddler, and just can’t imagine having two right now. She loves him. She had already made an adoption plan with another family while she was pregnant, but when they saw that the situation was complicated, they bailed. She puts on a strong front and smiles, expressing gratitude that we understand what's going on, and that we're excited to be his family. Even in her own family, not everyone knows that she has given birth, being either estranged or willfully ignorant. She brought pictures for us, and we lay them out on the table in front of us so we can stare at him while listening to her story.
The Hospital
That evening, she gives us permission to visit him in the hospital, in the NICU, where he has been since birth. We call and make arrangements to go see him for the first time on Friday. The hospital has a "No Visitors" policy with few exceptions. Parents may visit their kids in the NICU, but only one-at-a-time, and only in 90-minute blocks. The hospital even makes a special exception so that he can have three visitors a day instead of just two. We have our temperatures checked at the front desk, where they are screening everyone for symptoms of COVID-19, and they give us directions up to the NICU, where we must scrub in. Allison goes first.
There are no formal introductions, but the hospital staff has been waiting for us. Tears of joy and relief flow from the nurses who have cared for him the last three months as they meet us for the first time. Each nurse has a story to tell. He has been quite the charmer and insisted on having a crib near the door where he could greet each person who entered the room. Even other families know him.
For eleven days, we visit him there. He caught a cold and needed to be transferred to another room in order to keep it from spreading to the other children. Discharge moved back a week, but finally settled on a date. He makes progress every day. We learn about his routines, and about the care we will need to give him at home. We help change diapers, give baths, and feed him bottles. He sleeps a lot and loves to get cozy in our arms. We tell him about the brothers who are waiting excitedly to meet him. He smiles and tries to talk with us. We take everything one day at a time. His mother continues to visit, too, as her schedule allows, and we are able to connect with her a few more times. The nurses let us know that it's harder on her than what she reveals to us. After many months, "someday" for her feels like it is coming to a close.
On December 1, 2020, Katie brings us the final papers to sign. His mom has signed hers this morning. Thirty-four days after a most unexpected email, we bring him home and joyfully introduce him to the world.
